This blog is an attempt to memorialize our parents and right the wrongs done to them, and hopefully, by making readers aware of what can happen, we can protect other elderly parents who could fall victim to their own family members.
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11.4.03 Barbara email to friend
From: barbara lochner < To: Sent: Tue, November 4, 2003 8:25:56 PM Subject: slogging along Yesterday afternoon I hauled out the electric blanket and went to bed. My neighbor who finds herself endlessly fascinating called about 4 and said, oh did I wake you. Yes, you did. She just went right on, and as I hope to sell her house one day, I went right on with her. But went early to bed, around 8. Today is some better. My parents are living in the house they built when they retired, about 23 years ago. It is about 2000 sq ft, with a full basement. It backs up to the family farm which is about 90 acres. My father disappears back into the fields for hours at a time. When he is gone, my mother is afraid to get out of her chair for fear that she will fall - and no one will know. My brother & wife are building a house on the lot next door and are currently camping out in a motor home next to the new house. They hover around, hoping to catch my parents before they fall or otherwise hurt themselves. It is very difficult for Wayne & Sheila. They had planned to spend the winter in Florida, for instance, but dare not leave with my mother in the condition she is in. My father tells them, practically on a daily basis, that they don't need to be there. He insists that he and mother are perfectly fine..not frail, not in need of help, etc. He flatly refuses to have any help in the house...Only rarely does the cleaning woman come in...when they are expecting house guests, only. He verbally attacks my brother when bro tries to help mom out of the car. "Leave her alone, leave her alone." He insists that she is okay when she obviously is not. Wayne says daddy bares his teeth and hisses.. Brother cooks and takes them food but daddy ignores it or looks at it and snorts. He is a very difficult man and moreso than ever. The idea of getting them into a care facility is a joke. My dad would greet any would-be helpers with his shotgun. Mother has spent her life trying to pacify my Father..still making feeble comments.. "Well, let's wait and see what the dr has to say..this is probably all temporary...etc." If my dad makes her a piece of toast, it's looked on as manna from the gods.